WEE KIRKCUDBRIGHT CENTIPEDE

THE WEE KIRKCUDBRIGHT CENTIPEDE

by

Matt McGinn

The wee Kirkcudbright centipede, she was very sweet

She was ever so proud of every one of her hundred feet

Early every morning, her neighbours came to glance

She always entertained them with a beautiful little dance.

As leg number 94 gave 95 a shunt

Legs numbers 1 and 2 were twisting out in front

As legs numbers 9 and 10 were wriggling up the side

Legs 73 and 4 were doing the Palais Glide

Her neighbour Jenny Longlegs, with jealousy was mad

She went off and bought herself a pencil and a pad

She came a month of mornings and made a careful note

Of every step the centipede made and this is what she wrote

As leg number 94 gave 95 a shunt

Legs numbers 1 and 2 were twisting out in front

As legs numbers 9 and 10 were wriggling up the side

Legs 73 and 4 were doing the Palais Glide

Armed with her exact notation, young Jenny Longlegs tried

To dance just like the centipede, she failed and nearly cried

She grabbed a hold of the centipede, she says, ‘Now have a look

And tell me how you do these steps I've written in my book’

As leg number 94 gave 95 a shunt

Legs numbers 1 and 2 were twisting out in front

As legs numbers 9 and 10 were wriggling up the side

Legs 73 and 4 were doing the Palais Glide

Said the centipede, ‘Do I do that?’ She tried to demonstrate

She’d never thought on the thing before, she got into a terrible state

Her hundred legs were twisted, she got tied up in a fankle

She fractured 7 shinbones, 14 kneecaps and an ankle

As legs numbers 1 and 2 were tied with 3 and 4

Legs numbers 5 and 6 were trampled on the floor

Leg number 15 was attacked by number 10

97 and 98 will never dance again

The wee Kirkcudbright centipede, she suffered terrible pain

And some of us were very surprised she ever danced again

But now she tells her neighbours, every one that calls to see

‘Never try an explanation of what comes naturally!’

As leg number 94 gave 95 a shunt

Legs numbers 1 and 2 were twisting out in front

As legs numbers 9 and 10 were wriggling up the side

Legs 73 and 4 were doing the Palais Glide