LAST BUT NOT LEAST, THE BIG EFFEN BEE IS IN A SCHOOL TEXTBOOK! PERHAPS THEY ARE NOT AWARE OF THE EFFEN SUBTLETIES OF THE LANGUAGE USED IN THE POEM. SOMEONE ELSE HAS CLAIMED THE WROTE IT TOO, BUT WE ALL KNOW WHO WAS THE REAL EFFEN WRITER.
THE BIG EFFEN BEE
by
Matt McGinn
There’s a beautiful little town called Effen……just outside Edinburgh……just 800 miles outside Edinburgh. It’s in France. And in this town, you know, which is famous for its honey, there’s an awful lot of bees. There’s a factory there where they make gendarmes’ truncheons……or as the French choose to call them, polismen’s batons……
He kept bees in the old town of Effen
An Effen beekeeper was he
And one day this Effen beekeeper
Was stung by a big Effen bee
Now this big Effen beekeeper's wee Effen wife
For the big Effen polis she ran
For there's nobody can sort out a big Effen bee
Like a big Effen polisman can
Now the big Effen polisman, he did his nut
And he ran down the main Effen street
In his hand was a big Effen baton
He had big Effen boots on his feet
Now the polis got hold of this big Effen bee
And he twisted the Effen bee's wings
But this big Effen bee got his own back
For this big Effen bee had two stings
Now they're both in the Effen museum
And the Effen folk often come see
The remains of the big Effen polis
Stung to death by the big Effen bee