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THE BIG EFFEN BEE

MATT MCGINN SONG
Materials

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, THE BIG EFFEN BEE IS IN A SCHOOL TEXTBOOK! PERHAPS THEY ARE NOT AWARE OF THE EFFEN SUBTLETIES OF THE LANGUAGE USED IN THE POEM. SOMEONE ELSE HAS CLAIMED THE WROTE IT TOO, BUT WE ALL KNOW WHO WAS THE REAL EFFEN WRITER.

THE BIG EFFEN BEE

by

Matt McGinn

 

There’s a beautiful little town called Effen……just outside Edinburgh……just 800 miles outside Edinburgh.  It’s in France.  And in this town, you know, which is famous for its honey, there’s an awful lot of bees.  There’s a factory there where they make gendarmes’ truncheons……or as the French choose to call them, polismen’s batons……

 

He kept bees in the old town of Effen

An Effen beekeeper was he

And one day this Effen beekeeper

Was stung by a big Effen bee

 

Now this big Effen beekeeper's wee Effen wife

For the big Effen polis she ran

For there's nobody can sort out a big Effen bee

Like a big Effen polisman can

 

Now the big Effen polisman, he did his nut

And he ran down the main Effen street

In his hand was a big Effen baton

He had big Effen boots on his feet

 

Now the polis got hold of this big Effen bee

And he twisted the Effen bee's wings

But this big Effen bee got his own back

For this big Effen bee had two stings

 

Now they're both in the Effen museum

And the Effen folk often come see

The remains of the big Effen polis

Stung to death by the big Effen bee

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