THE CLEANSING MAN

THE CLEANSING MAN

by

Matt McGinn

Hark and lend an ear, give order

Listen to me and shut your trap  ..….which you'll agree is a very friendly introduction, you know, guaranteed to win friends and influence people……

Attention while I tell you

Of a most unusual chap

He was working with the cleansing

Making a fortune there, for sure

When he stumbled down a manhole

And he landed in a sewer

He was up to the knees in orange blood

Surrender or you’ll die

The pope came oot with a washing cloot

And battered him ower the eye

King Billy ran for the polis

And they quickly came along ……cos they always do what they’re told in Northern Ireland……

To arrest the poor wee cleansing man

Though he had done no wrong

They attacked him with their truncheons

Ah but one by one, they fell

For whenever they got up close to him

He flattened then with his……..aroma

Ah, they finally they arrested him

And there was a terrible scene

He was taken away to Peterhead

For the pleasure of the queen

Ah, but the queen she wasn't pleased at all

Indeed the truth to tell

She commanded that the governor

Should give her another cell

As for the other prisoners

Sure, they were displeased and all

And led by Johnny Ramensky

They all hopped it over the wall

Ah now, watching this wee cleansing man

Was a job they didn't like

So the warders got together

And they all came out on strike

Ah but the prince, he bought a pigeon

From a shop in Castle Street

He borrowed a bunch of the warder’s keys

And he fastened them to its feet

It was then he opened the window

And he gave it a hell of a boot

He told it to go to the cleansing man

So he could let himself oot ……That's Welsh for ‘out’, you know……

Ah, the cleansing man, he opened the door

And was quickly over the wall

And if I’m not mistaken

Someone’s let him in this hall

Ah, but now you’ve paid attention

Lent an ear and shut your trap

We can maybe get on wi the singing

And forget this load of……..rubbish