WRITTEN BY WATT NICOLL
THE DUNDEE CAT
by
Watt Nicoll
Fifty years in her wee top flat
The poor old woman and her old tom cat
In an attic room in Dundee town
A poor old woman put the tale around
That she lived all the years in her wee top flat
Nae company but her old tom cat
Fifty years in her wee top flat
The poor old woman and her old tom cat
One night by the fire, she felt gie glum
When what do you think came down the lum?
But her fairy godmother, saying, ‘Have no fear
To grant three wishes they have sent me here’
Fifty years in her wee top flat
The poor old woman and her old tom cat
The woman looked down at her empty purse
‘I could always use some cash, of course’
The fairy then waved her wand around
Till lying on the floor was a thousand pounds
Fifty years in her wee top flat
The poor old woman and her old tom cat
For a lovely figue and a face divine
For tonight I wish these things were mine
Said the fairy godmother, ‘Well, I'll have a go’
She made her look like Biddy Bardot
Fifty years in her wee top flat
The poor old woman and her old tom cat
This beautiful woman, by the fire she sat
She turned her attention to the old tom cat
He's my only love so here's my plan
For tonight make him my handsome man
Fifty years in her wee top flat
The poor old woman and her old tom cat
This handsome man to the lass came near
Whispered softly in her ear
‘The night is young but you'll regret
The day you took me to the vet!’
Fifty years in her wee top flat
The poor old woman and her old tom cat