(THE) HEILAN MAN

(THE) HEILAN MAN

by

Matt McGinn

Ten thousand Roman sodjers

Tae the heilans they came north

And they had conquered millions

Fae the Tiber tae the Forth

They landed near Loch Lomond

For the night they thought they'd lie

But fae somewhere on the Cobbler hill

They heard this terrible cry

'GREGALAI GREGALOO

Come up and fight

Ya cowardly crew

I'll have you for my pot o stew

You’re feart tae fight wi me'

On top was a great big heilan man

With a kilt and a big claymore

He looked a bit ferocious

So old Caesar sent up four

Then he sat doon tae supper

By the bright light o the moon

But he lost his taste for vino

When four heids came rollin doon

'With a GREGALAI GREGALOO

Come up and fight

Ya cowardly crew

I'll have you for my pot o stew

You’re feart tae fight wi me'

Then he sent up Marc Anthony

With another fifty-five

‘Go bring that rascal's heid tae me

Or ah'll have ye skinned alive’

They heard the clash o metal then

Until the night was done

But then there came this terrible cry

Wi the rising o the Sun

'GREGALAI GREGALOO

Come up and fight

Ya cowardly crew

I'll have you for my pot o stew

You’re feart tae fight wi me'

Then he sent up a thousand men

This heilan man to crack

But oot o aw that thousand

There was only one came back

‘Oh Caesar’, screamed the sodjer

Wi his heid aw black and blue

‘That rascal has been kidding us

There's no just one, there's two!’

'With a GREGALAI GREGALOO

Come up and fight

Ya cowardly crew

I'll have you for my pot o stew

You’re feart tae fight wi me'

Then Caesar picked his suitcase up

And he ran southwards then

He was doin sixty miles an hour

But he couldnae catch his men

But now you'll maybe wonder

Why I've told this tale at all

Well it has a simple moral

And they call it Hadrian's Wall

'GREGALAI GREGALOO

Come up and fight

Ya cowardly crew

I'll have you for my pot o stew

You’re feart tae fight wi me'